Universally Reviled, Absolutely Essential

Making the Boss Look Good

Accountants are absolutely essential but universally reviled.  The Accountants know the truth.  The Accountants know that what’s being sold as a rare diamond is actually costume jewellery. When any Department Head, Old Dog or Top Level Exec announces some kind of reward to the staff, be it a party, swag or anything that seems like a perk, the Accountant knows it was donated by a third party and cost the company nothing. That's why they are often scapegoated.

When the overworked mere mortal Assistant, (who has been working tirelessly for the company for a decade but hasn’t seen a raise in 6 years,) finally works up the courage to ask for a raise and is told “money is too tight right now. It’s just not the right time.” The Scapegoat knows the Executives just gave themselves a pay bump. 

The Scapegoat Accountant knows that most Executives supplement their income by charging the company back for their personal expenses. So, even though they make a bazillion more dollars than you do, they don’t have to pay for their car, insurance, gas, internet, cable, phones…

There is a special kind of math in the entertainment industry, it’s very creative, and the Accountant knows how it’s done. The Scapegoat often has to be the one to rain on the parade.  He/She has to warn when things are about to go over budget and people have to be reined in. Nobody likes to be reined in, and no Executive likes to be told by a lowly Accountant to stop spending.  Obviously, the Scapegoat has been instructed by higher level Executives to issue the warning, and that’s understood, but nobody can yell at the head honchos, so the Scapegoat gets the brunt.

The Scapegoat is the one who is blamed every time an Exec has to deny an Artist’s lavish request. “Ah that’s corporate. I’m trying really hard to get you that private plane to go from Jersey to NYC, but I’m getting a lot of push back from the Accountants.” Yeah, like the Accountant has that power.

The Scapegoat is the de facto fall guy.  If anything has to be denied anyone, it’s always ‘blame the Accountants.’ Like they actually control the purse strings.

The Accountant knows how much everybody makes, and nobody likes that.

The Accountant sees behind the curtain.  The Accountant knows the truth behind most of the lies, and the folks doing the lying know this.  It is tacit, it’s not discussed, and, like I said, most people know the Scapegoat Accountant doesn't make the money decisions, they do as they are instructed, so when an Old Dog asks the Big Boss for something stupid and expensive,  and the Big Boss says, ‘sorry, you know I would if I could, but the Accountants won’t let me.’ The Old Dog knows the Big Boss is the one denying them, but is happy to go along, ‘Fucking Accountants, am I right?’ What’s he going to do, challenge the boss? No freaking way, he NEEDS this job, it’s what makes him relevant.

The Scapegoat represents all the lies the Executives tell people.  Anyone with a residual conscience feels the tug of shame whenever they see the Scapegoat, that’s why they hate the Scapegoat.

The Scapegoat knows the Emperor is buck naked!


Almost every day is a miserable day at the office for the Scapegoat.  He/she has few friends at work, only fellow accountants, mostly subordinates. The subordinates don't defend the Scapegoat - they don't want to be friendless. If and when the Scapegoat finally burns out, he/she will run away from the industry and never, ever look back ~ and the next in line will assume the role. 



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